Marina//20//Minnesota
- I am paying for your crimes and it’s unfair. (K. M.)
(picture version)
i divide up my life by which traumatic event was occurring to me at the time
Wintergirls- Laurie Halse Anderson
sometimes you just have to dig out the rot with your bare hands
if i start talking to you about really stupid shit and im not trying to look intellegent anymore that means youve done it. obtained true trust levels. god tier friendship.
no it just means i’m stupid
you want a list or what
“But your abuse made you kind”
I was always kind. My abuse tested my kindness and you are testing my patience.
Just some abused kids things part 2
- ‘sorry’ “what are you apologising for?” ‘you sounded mad’
- abandonment issues x10000
- “if theyre that bad, you can just leave!”
- s u i c i d a l u r g e s
- trying really hard to be a good kid for your abusive parent when youre younger and then realising youre never gonna be good enough
- jokes? you mean passive aggressive comments about something you did wrong passed off as jokes?
- youre either incredibly attached to someone and believe every word they say or you distrust them and you hate them for no specific reason
trauma culture is hating being told what to do but simultaneously needing it in order to make any decision ever lol
Children who feel they cannot engage their parents emotionally often try to strengthen their connection by playing whatever roles they believe their parents want them to. Although this may win them some fleeting approval, it doesn’t yield genuine emotional closeness. Emotionally disconnected parents don’t suddenly develop a capacity for empathy just because a child does something to please them.
People who lacked emotional engagement in childhood, men and women alike, often can’t believe that someone would want to have a relationship with them just because of who they are. They believe that if they want closeness, they must play a role that always puts the other person first.
— Lindsay C. Gibbon, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents (2015)
Trauma often messes with one’s ability to say “no”.
You either consciously or subconsciously think, “I don’t want to hurt this person’s feelings” or “If I say no, then they’ll hurt me” or “It won’t really be that bad” or “I can handle this” or “I need to do this to prove myself” or “I deserve this”, or you forget that “no” is even an option.
It’s still not your fault if you didn’t say “no”, even if you think maybe you could have. It’s still not your fault. You didn’t deserve what happened to you and you didn’t bring it upon yourself. It was never your fault.
I’m a prophet
I’m a poet
There’s tragedy in my soul
IF YOU LISTEN CLOSELY
VERY VERY CLOSELY
YOU CAN HEAR THE WHISPERS OF YOUR CHILDHOODIT’S FAINT
BUT IT’S SCREAMING
